Christmas Eve

Our first Christmas Eve with just our family of five. We went to a beautiful service. Then as soon as we got home all three of my children were crying. Lucy stayed awake and wanted to be held from 6:30-11 pm. And while that meant she slept until 4 am (yay) it also meant that only one person could finish wrapping and finishing a big painting project. And that person didn't come to bed until 2:30 am. But it's ok because it's Christmas and we can take naps. 

Santa and some reindeer

This cute little reindeer farm near my parents town had Santa come the other night and then you can feed and pet their two reindeer named Klaus and Nutmeg. 

The kids loved it and Caroline asked Santa for skittles while Liam asked for a two headed snake. I think I know which one Santa thought was manageable. 

One month

Lucy is one month old! She weighs 8 pounds 12 ounces. There isn't a lot to report as there's only a few things she currently does. 

1.  Sleep. Lucy sleeps well and gets up to eat every 2-5 hours during the day and every 3-4 hours at night. She usually has 1-2 hours of wakefulness before going back to sleep. 

2. Have dirty diapers. 

3. Cry. She currently only cries when hungry or sleepy. 

The kids are adjusting well to having a baby sister around. Caroline loves to help out and Liam helps occasionally when he's not busy playing. 

We love having Lucy here and I can't wait to finally see her smile. 

Meeting Aunt Adriane for the first time!

Gotta be the same guy right?

Tonight Liam and I were reviewing his AWANA section that he would be learning for this week. In this section he is starting to learn the books of the New Testament. In case you forgot, it starts with Matthew Mark Luke John...

While Liam and I were working Caroline looked at Evan and said, "Matthew, Luke Skywalker." 

Close. So close. 

Sleep is so very, very important

It's no joke. Sleep deprivation is a cruel thing. It makes you do terrible things such as forcing your 2 year old daughter to finish her dinner of, wait for it, peanut butter and banana sandwich. Like shove it in her mouth and help her chew. And in the madness you have an out of body experience as you watch yourself forcing your daughter to eat while holding your infant and telling your almost 6 year old to keep his comments to himself because I have it all under control. Because you realize that you do not have it all under control. The tears come and then your husband comes home after working an 11 hour day to a wife who is on the verge of a breakdown.

This mommy thing never gets any easier no matter how many children you have. Having a newborn who needs to eat every 3 hours is the norm and only getting 2 hours of sleep at a time or less is hard. Like really hard. Especially when the newborn only will sleep while being held and as soon as you lay her down in the co-sleeper she jerks herself awake. Or when she decides that 11:00 pm is a great time to stare around the room learning about her environment. Or when she does stretch out her feedings to 3 1/2 hours or 4 hours but starts squeaking and grunting at 2 1/2 hours.

Lucky for us these are extreme cases. There are some nights where Lucy will nurse and immediately go right back to sleep. Not many but some. And while I usually have to battle my two older children to eat their healthy and nutritious meals we do not normally force feed them although there are usually threats of lost books before bed and always bribery of dessert.

This is a phase. Eventually Lucy will start sleeping for longer stretches. Someday my children will not have to be bribed to eat what is in front of them. In about a year I will no longer be sleep deprived and will once again be a contributing member to society. A year. Hopefully less.

I really pray it will be less.

Wish I could sleep like her!

Big accomplishments for a big sister

After one week of potty training I think she's got it. We may have had to sweeten the bribery by telling her if she pooped on the potty she would get ice cream so today she finally did it. She still can't wear pants or underwear if she's in the house or she forgets to run to the potty but this is going to be a long process. And lucky for her I've got 9 more weeks to help her be successful. We are so proud of her! 

Could there be anything cuter?

Snow

There's nothing better than snow in December to get our hearts ready for Christmas. This past Sunday we had a lovely snowfall that lasted most of the day and the kids couldn't wait to get out and play in it. Lucy and I watched from the window.

I'm all for staying warm inside and watching the winter fun from the window. I think I'll use Lucy as my excuse all winter long.

Lucy's here! A birth story

It's hard to believe that Lucy has been with us now for four days. We just got home from the hospital yesterday and the kids just got home from grandparents houses tonight. I want to try and remember everything about Lucy becoming a part of our family so here it goes.

I had a planned cesarean delivery since the other two kids were delivered that way for Monday morning. Evan and I showed up at the hospital at 5:15 am to start getting prepped with the nurses. We were both very excited but also very nervous as this is surgery. And we of course were hoping that this new baby would be healthy and that I would have no complications. Lucy must have still been very high because Evan said it looked like one of the doctors had to get onto the table to push her out. I could definitely feel the amount of pressure they were using as I could hardly breathe. But then we heard, "lots of hair!" and "female it's a girl!"

I was shocked. We didn't find out the gender beforehand but I was so sure that it was going to be a boy. I just kept staring over at her in disbelief. Happy but shocked. I know I commented to Evan on how small she was and also on how much she looked like Liam and Caroline. 

The nurse weighed her and told us that she was 6 lbs 5 oz. And again I was shocked. Lucy was nowhere close to her siblings weight and my belly was so huge! We got some skin to skin time while they sewed me back up and then we went off to the recovery room.

Later that night when the nurse was weighing Lucy she commented on the fact that the scale said she was 7 lbs 9 oz. She immediately dismissed the scale saying she would come back later with a different scale to weigh her again. A few hours later she weighed her again and now she was 7 lbs 8 oz. The charge nurse came in and told us that the scale in the delivery room was not correct and they recalculated her birth weight at 7 lbs 10 oz. That is much closer to her siblings who were born at 7 lbs 12 oz (Caroline) and 8 lbs 4 oz. (Liam)

Lucy has been a great eater and a great sleeper so far. She eats every 3 hours. She also has had plenty of dirty diapers. It seems this girl never stops pooping!

Last Friday we went to the pediatrician to again check her weight and we were told that Lucy looked a bit jaundiced. So due to the holiday weekend we had to go back to the main hospital and get her blood drawn. Luckily the bilirubin level was only at a 12.2 and the pediatrician said that that was fine and just to continue to nurse her as much as she wanted to flush everything out of her system. (Apparently 20 and higher means treatment with an overnight stay at the hospital, so we were very relieved to hear that we would not have to participate in that)

Lucy has no issues with her hips. Yay! I even had 3 different pediatricians check her to make sure. We are so very thankful for a clean bill of health and go back to the pediatrician on Monday.

I am very thankful that I am feeling almost back to normal, 10 days after having surgery. I move around pretty well and only take an Ibuprofen once to twice daily.

The kids are really adapting well to having Lucy around. Liam likes to hold her before he leaves for school every morning although he did tell me the other day after school that he forgot that he had a baby sister. Caroline is doing pretty good as well. I have noticed that she is a tad more clingy to Evan and Grammie but she is always looking for Baby Lucy and wants to touch her nose.

Welcome to our family Baby Lucy!

From a different viewpoint

My husband is so good with remembering the funny thing the kids say. I stole these off his Facebook page so that they can also be recorded here. 

The other night Liam pretended Caroline was a mouse. He chased her around the house swatting a broom at her. Points for creativity but broom privileges were revoked. 

Liam woke me up early this morning to inform me that it was ok for me to sleep in. 

After a particularly trying night of attempting to get our children to eat what's for dinner: A big shout out to our only "child" who doesn't refuse the food we put in front of her. *in reference to Butters of course. 

When I asked Caroline what she was painting a picture of she said,"Caterpillars and zombies"

Liam says it smells like fall today. He also says my car smells like polar bears. Apparently his nose his more discerning than mine. 

Upon getting into my car today Liam said, "Its hotter in here than a turtle wearing pajamas!"

Happy Thanksgiving

From this little turkey who has made me beyond thankful. She reminds me to count all of my many blessings. 

Introducing

Lucy Magnolia Walles

Born November 21, 2016

7:33 am

7lbs 10oz

21 1/2 inches long

She has dark brown hair, dark blue eyes and looks so much like her siblings. 

We couldn't be anymore excited about our newest family member. 

Little Miss Caroline

Caroline is just about 2 1/2 years old. Here are some of the things that she does to make us laugh.

The other day we were at the library. I was picking out some books for the kids and she was playing at the lego table with some other kids. I called over to her to tell her where I was and that in a few minutes we would be leaving. She walked over to me and said, "Don't talk to me. I'm playing with my new friends." I was a bit shocked but managed to tell her that she couldn't talk to me like that and then thought how if she's already saying that to me at age 2 I am in serious trouble when she's 13.

Caroline has always been very excited about the baby in my tummy. In the beginning she would rub my chest and warmly call to the baby. I always corrected her hands by pulling them down to my belly and telling her that the baby lived down here not up there.

She for awhile also thought that I was having a tiger, not a baby.

Caroline makes the best faces when she is disgusted and mad at us. She will lower her chin and then glare at you. I have realized that I make this same face towards Evan or either children.

She says, "Ready, Steady, Go!"

She says, "poppasicle" when wanting a popsicle.

She loves to put on her cowgirl skirt from Aunt Emily and run around the house.

She and Liam love to play 'dog'. Caroline will give the leash to Liam and he will clip it on his shirt and then she will take him on a walk around the dining room and kitchen. Liam will even go as far as to lick you (gross) and pant.

She likes Skittles more than M&M's.

She is no longer interested in going on the potty. Maybe someday soon....

She is very excited to be a big sister and help change the baby's diapers and play with the baby. It will be interesting to see what will really happen when the baby gets here but for now she is pumped!

One day to go

I have less than one day before we get to meet this new baby. I am feeling all of the feelings. I am excited, I am anxious, I am sad and I am terrified.

I am excited to finally get to meet this new child. Will it be a boy or a girl? Liam and I really think a boy and Caroline and Evan really think it's a girl.  I am excited to no longer be pregnant as I am exhausted, sore and tired of being as large as an elephant.

I am anxious because, hello!, I am having surgery. I am anxious because we will have a new routine and schedule that we will not be able to be determine until this baby gets on a schedule which could be months.

I am sad that I just had to say goodbye to my other two children. I was in tears and holding them back until Liam squeezed me even tighter and wouldn't let me go when it was time for him to leave with Grandpa and Grammie Walles. Caroline was not phased but just very excited to leave with her grandparents and have a sleepover with them.

I am terrified of the unknown. Isn't that always the case? I pray that this child will be healthy and that the delivery will go just as smoothly as it did with Caroline. I pray that my recovery will go just as smoothly as it did with Caroline. I am terrified of what I will be like as a mother of three. Almost everyone I talk to says going from 2 to 3 kids was very difficult. I already have very little patience for my two children and now we're adding a third. Oh boy.

Here's the great thing. We have so much family who are near to us that will help us at a moments notice. We have some pretty great friends and coworkers as well who have offered to bring us a meal if we need one. I know ultimately that we will be fine.

I have been in the nesting phase for almost a month now. Poor Evan has been working hard at crossing thing off my list. The house is ready, food is in the freezer, fans have been dusted and windows washed. Because yes that is very important when you are bringing home a new baby.

There's only one thing left to do....rise and shine Monday morning, this baby is breaking out!

Once there was just two

As our family will soon be expanding in just three short weeks to a family of five I figured I better sit down and write about what life is like with just two kiddos. 

Just the two of them waiting for the ISU homecoming parade to begin. 

Just the two of them drawing together. 

Just the two of them wearing their footie pajamas. 

Just the two of them at the pumpkin farms on a beautiful fall day. 

Jus the two of them playing nicely in the backyard. 

I wish that life with these two was always full of smiles but that is not our reality. Most of the time they fight or Liam antagonizes Caroline and she starts screaming. Just once in a while we get those easy days where Liam decides to be a nice helpful big brother and they get along beautifully. But since this time of just being the two of them is about to expire I will choose to remember the smiles and the easy days. Because in just a couple of weeks we will be outnumbered. 

Was there any doubt?

After watching one episode of Little Einsteins this morning...

C: "I want to watch more!"

M:"ummmm I don't..."

C: "TELL ME YES!"

If we weren't sure about Caroline's ability to be assertive I think we have a good idea now that she will be a very strong and opinionated woman. Just like her momma and all her aunts. 

6 weeks and counting down

That's right! Six weeks until we get to meet this baby! Approximately 42 days left of this pregnancy. This will be my last pregnancy, according to Evan, so I should probably document all of the things that I currently feel for when that moment comes in the future that I think, Am I really done with this chapter in my life?, I can remember how it really feels to be pregnant. Warning: this post might turn negative.

I love resting my hand on my belly and immediately feel a kick or a nudge from baby. I especially love watching my belly when baby is dancing. I love trying to figure out what appendage is sticking out and is sharp, is it an elbow or a heel?

I do not love my lack of sleep. I feel that I constantly turn from side to side and with my body pillow and the other pillows that I need to feel supported and comfortable it takes quite a bit of effort to readjust myself during the night. I also do not like waking up due to my bladder and then not being able to get back to sleep for an hour. I suppose this is nature's way of helping me adjust for when baby does get here and I am nursing but right now it stinks.

I love how excited Liam gets whenever he wants to feel the baby move. He thinks it is so funny and he also thinks this baby will be so strong! (Caroline is too impatient to keep her hand still to wait for baby to move for her)

I do not love all of the random people who like to ask me if I'm having more than one baby. If I'm going to have the baby tomorrow or who like to comment on how large I am. 

I also do not love how hard this pregnancy has been on my body. Maybe because I am that much older at 33, but the sciatica nerve pain I have had has been pretty unreal. Maybe because I am also in charge of two littles that there is no time for rest like with the first pregnancy. And really there is no denying that I have already surpassed my end weight for the last two pregnancies, about a month ago. I'm not really sure how my body will continue to expand for this growing baby. 

I love wondering about who this little person will be. What color of hair he or she will have, red like Liam and Evan or blonde like Caroline and myself. If they will have the same eye color as Liam and Caroline, blue like my Dad's. Will they have the Fink nose like Liam and Caroline? Will he or she have my trademark birthmark on their forehead?

I do not love the unknown health status of this little person. Will they have hip dysplasia like Caroline or any of the other million things that can go wrong in a developing human being? I know that whatever comes our way God will give us the strength to meet head on but is it selfish of me to just want a healthy baby?

I love thinking about how this baby will complete our family. In all honesty, two kids sometimes feels very overwhelming and I'm not entirely sure how we will manage three. I really don't know how both of our parents had four, that seems mindboggling. But I also know that it will be that much more fun, more loud, more tears but also more laughter.

 We can't wait for this little ones birthday!

AWANA

I am so excited that this year we decided to find an AWANA program to have Liam attend. I grew up in AWANA and love how many friends I made, the amazing Bible truths that I learned and I know that it helped shape me into the person that I am today.

Liam has started out in Sparks and of course the Sparks verse is John 3:16
For God so loved the world,
that he gave his only Son,
that whoever believes in Him,
Should not perish but have eternal life.

Liam has been working on learning this verse for the last 3 weeks and we of course have practiced during all times of the day.

The other day Liam was reciting the verse for me but got hung up on "should not....."

So he said it again, "should not...."

And little Ms. Caroline said, "perish"

I was truly amazed and pursued her knowledge of the verse a little more. Turns out she pretty much knows the whole thing, with a little coaching. She is one smart cookie!

The importance of not mixing up words

It's hard sometimes to remember exactly what someone says. Words can get mixed up so easily. This story proves my point exactly. 

Today I got a message from Liam's kindergarten teacher that all the kindergarten boys had a talk with one of the male teachers about aiming better while using the restroom. Apparently someone or some people are leaving quite the mess in the boys bathroom which just also happens to be their tornado shelter in case of an emergency. 

So on the way home today I asked Liam if he had a chat with a teacher today. He told me that all the boys did and the teacher said "If I find out who did this I'm going to put your face in it"

This made me pause. I wasn't there for this pep talk but I highly doubt a teacher would be using this type of language or threatening a bunch of 5 to 6 year olds. 

So I said, "are you sure that's what he said? Or did he say someone could slip and fall and put their face in it."

"Right. That's what he said. He said someone could accidentally slip and fall in it."

We then discussed how important it is to remember the sequence of words and how vital that can be in retelling stories. 

Just fine

With Liam starting school there wasn't just two people affected by this new transitional milestone. (Liam and myself) Caroline has had to do some adjusting as well.

While they fight often throughout the day Caroline looks up to her big brother and is constantly wanting to play with whatever he is playing with. (Batman, superheroes and Legos) Now Liam is gone for most of the day so we sometimes talk about Liam and where he is but mostly.....Caroline is loving this new milestone as well. 

Playing quietly  by herself with no one to snatch toys out of her hands is truly fantastic!

Playing with Mom all by herself with no one else to steal away Mom's attention is a giant bonus and something Caroline has not had a lot of experience with.  I am enjoying this immensely as well. It's a lot of fun to see what toys she picks out to play with (doll babies, Fisher Price people, her purse), what colors she is drawn to (purple) and how excited she gets when we get to do special outings with just the two of us. 

Caroline loves craft time and coloring!

Caroline is very excited to see Liam when he comes home and I know that she misses him throughout the day but for the most part? We seem to be doing just fine.

The first week

With one full week of kindergarten under his belt we have discovered a few things.

1. Liam is still a shy kid who has a hard time making friends at first. He is remembering their names but hasn't quite made any true buddies yet. I'm sure in a month this will change as this is his normal routine.

2. When Dad tells you to follow all the other kids into school after riding the bus in the morning you listen. Even if that means you go into the cafeteria instead of the gym to line up with your class. And if the kid in front of you gets in line to eat breakfast you do that too because Dad told you to follow him. Go ahead and eat that cinnamon roll because that's what the kid in front of you ordered even though you literally ate breakfast an hour ago at home. *sigh*

3. When Mom gives you money for milk to drink with your lunch and tells you to give it to whomever is giving you the milk do not come home with the same fifty cents that you had in the morning. Especially if you tell Mom that you did indeed drink milk for lunch but no one asked you for money.

4. Always try to go to the bathroom before you get on the bus. Always.

5. Your mom is so excited to see you when you get home I immediately want to kiss your entire face and hold your hand the whole way home but Mom is learning that when there are still other kids around that is not cool. I am resisting squeezing you until we get inside the house.

I know we have so much more to learn about this whole school thing but we are learning. Learning about who to follow into school in the morning. Learning about who pays for lunches and also learning that Liam's teacher seems amazing. I am so excited that he is in her class. This year is going to be great!

First day of kindergarten

Last week Liam had his first day of kindergarten. He was so excited! A little bit nervous as well but mostly excited. 

We drove to the school, parked a block away and began the hardest walk of my parenting journey to date. Tears were beginning at my eyes as I thought about this little boy whom I have watched grow up. And then I told myself to yoga breathe and keep it together because HE was so excited. As he stood in his classroom line waiting to go into those very big doors I graciously accepted a conversation with a fellow parent so I could stop thinking about how my biggest baby is no longer my baby. And then that ended and I was forced to again confront my very pregnancy driven hormonal feelings. I gave him a hug, told him to have the greatest day and watched him walk away. Then I walked back to my car making the ugly cry face. 

Liam had a great first day. I got to hear all about his teacher, his classmates, recess and his lunch when we got home that day. I am so happy that he is doing so well with this giant milestone. 

He was ready and so now I am too. 

Trying to make me laugh by wearing his backpack backwards. 

Wrapping it up

On our last day at home together before Liam starts school I figured I better catch up on a few pictures from our summer.

Liam played T-Ball again this summer and loved every second of it. When I explained that it was his last week of the season and that he only had two games left to play he was very sad and said he wanted to sign up again for T-Ball next week. When I had to explain that T-Ball is a summer sport only and that he would have to wait until next summer to play again he got even more sad.

Liam has also been working hard at losing more teeth. He lost his second lower central incisor (P)almost a month ago and his upper central incisor has been loose for a few weeks now as well. (E)

In July we went on a mini family vacation with my family to Sheboygan, Wisconsin. The kids had so much fun with their cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents at the waterpark, on the beach, at the BookWorm Gardens and learning how to play UNO. I love that my family has started taking these little vacations so the kids (and all of us) can have these memories. I am extremely thankful that Evan and I missed the four hour fishing excursion on Lake Michigan that proved to be extremely choppy and only produced two fish, but lots of seasickness for those involved. 

What a great vacation!

I'm always sad to see summer leave us. It is my favorite season by far so here's just a few more good pictures. 

New starts and new worries

He is ready. I know that he is ready for kindergarten so how come I'm not ready.

We met his teacher.
He took all of his school supplies to his classroom.
He got to see where his "workstation" is. (what happened to the word desk)
He found his book cubbie, his mailbox, his "locker" and where he is supposed to line up in the morning once he has gotten to school.
He observed his new classmates. (I encouraged him many times to say hi to his new friends and he just stared at me and shook his head no)

I'm not ready.

How can I get over the idea of putting him on that bus and trusting that he will make it to the school, he will walk to the gym, he will stand in the right line, he will go to the right classroom and that he will not be afraid to ask for help if he gets lost. I think on Friday I may put him on the bus, get in my car, drive to the school and hide behind the bushes and watch for him. This could be a bad idea as I'm sure someone will call the cops on me and accuse me of wanting to kidnap a child. I'm also not sure how easily I can hide considering my description would be the giant pregnant lady with the 2 year old girl who kept trying to run away from her.

I'm not ready.

How can I be sure that he eats all of his lunch and am I supposed to be giving him milk money? If they give him the choice of white or chocolate he is going to choose chocolate milk every time. Who will be there to say, "Liam I think we both know that your mother would disapprove of you drinking chocolate milk for the third day in a row. And don't even think about drinking that juice over there. It will rot your teeth out."

I'm not ready.

Who will be there to tell the bully to stop picking on my child? Who will be there to tell Liam to stop being the bully and to be nice and share? Who will he sit next to on the bus? Will he know what bus stop to get off at?

I'm not ready. Clearly I am "that mom" that every kindergarten teacher dreads. But I also can't wait.

I can't wait to see how excited he is going to be to ride the bus for the first time. I can't wait to see him get off the bus and hear all about his day. I can't wait to hear about his new friends and what they did to make him laugh. I can't wait to see how much smarter he will get because his new teacher seems really awesome and nice.

I'm not ready but I can't wait. This year is going to be awesome!

She's not my baby anymore

Caroline is 2. And in case I thought I could hold onto my petite baby forever she is continually proving me wrong and growing up left and right.

She now insists on climbing into her car seat and if I forget and try to place her into it myself I am greeted with a massive tantrum and big crocodile tears and her saying, "I do it! I climb! I do it!"

She now goes potty almost every single morning before getting her diaper on. Her nighttime diaper is still wet and throughout the day she doesn't tell us that she has to go potty but it's definitely progress. She clearly gets her stubbornness from me because on days when it takes longer than a couple minutes to do her potty time and we try to tell her she has ran out of time she throws a massive fit and will run back to her potty and sit on it until she does her business. Note to self: we need to get her up earlier on days she has to go to the babysitter.

She loves to draw and color on anything and everything that is lying around on the table. (including bills) She will happily doodle while I make dinner and many times she also sings to herself.

She has now figured out that there are many times that Liam fibs to get her into trouble and so now she has started doing it as well. She has not figured out yet that she should look to see if I'm watching first before making her claim that Liam hit her and so far her fibs have proved to be fruitless but I'm sure it won't be long before she figures this out as well.

She can count to 12. Leaving out 4 of course.

She went down the water slide all by herself at the waterpark. 

There is no denying it; she is 2 and most definitely a big girl.