Judging before you know

Isn't it amazing how before you become a parent you have all these preconceived notions and judgements on other parents?

I remember going to restaurants and hearing children screaming and I would actually cringe. I would think  "What are those people doing? If that were my kid I would grab his arm, we would be marching out of the restaurant and he would be getting his rear whooped in the car."

I also remember my best friend telling me how she was going to let her son tell her when HE was ready to quit breastfeeding. I thought "This chick is crazy! Why would an infant be able to tell you that he didn't want to continue to breastfeed."

Here's the thing: it is so embarrassing when your child has a meltdown in public. No one can or should judge you for it, because it is SO embarrassing!  This has not happened to us yet. It will, of course at some point and I hope I will have the courage to pick him up and just leave the restaurant, grocery store or mall. I pray that I will have the courage to leave my entire grocery cart in the middle of the store and walk out with a screaming child wishing I had a bag to put over my head.

The second judgement up above I am really struggling with. Breastfeeding has always been something that I was committed to. I didn't know when I was going to quit but I just figured by the first birthday he would be done because that's when a lot of people quit breastfeeding. Breastfeeding is really hard-which not a lot of people talk about. In the beginning, Liam did pretty well, and then we went through a phase where he would scream whenever I tried to nurse him from one particular side. We worked through that and then he started to bite me. (Ouch by the way!) I didn't give up though, I was living on the edge while nursing him, waiting for those little chompers to come down on me but I didn't give up!

Slowly we have worked down to just one nursing session a day. Liam is almost 16 months old and I still breastfeed him. If you would have told me this a year ago-I would have told you you were crazy! The thing is, I enjoy my time with him. I like to feel his soft skin against me and have him hold my hand while he is nursing. It's a special time. I'm having a hard time letting go.

Our time is coming to a close soon. In two weeks we will be going to Chicago for the weekend and I will be without my baby for the first time overnight. (Actually it will be for 2 1/2 days, I'm trying not to stress about it) I don't have to quit nursing him but it's time. Liam still enjoys nursing but it's more like, "Give me milk now lady or I'm gonna scream!" And I know that Liam will be ok without Momma's milk and that he will be ok with Uncle Blair and Aunt Stephanie while we enjoy our time in Chicago. But right now I'm having a hard time.